Lost in Paradise
by Angel's Fallen Knight
Summary: It all starts and ends in a bathroom. Can Quinn finally persuade Rachel that marrying Finn is the wrong choice? Or is she doomed to watch on as Rachel ruins her future?


**I promised a one-shot smut fic if people voted in the E!Online TV Top Couples Tournament. We fucking won, by the way. And I asked people to prompt me, and I was given a lot of prompts, good ones at that, and a few of them I thought I could meld together and make one long oneshot. I wasn't anticipating it being over 10,000 words though so...what can you do? It's not as smutty as anticipated, but there's enough sex in there to sate your M rated appetites. Enjoy you guys, you deserve it!**

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><p><em><strong>All the promises I made<strong>_

_**Just to let you down**_

_**You believed in me, but I'm broken.**_

_**I have nothing left**_

_**And all I feel is this cruel wanting.**_

_**We've been falling for all this time**_

_**And now I'm lost in paradise…**_

The first time it happens, they're in the bathroom. Of all the places it could have taken place, they happen to be in a bathroom. It wasn't planned or expected, in fact, Quinn had only gone in there to fix her makeup during her free period. Rachel wasn't on a free period; she actively searched for Quinn, effectively missing Spanish and Mr. Schuester's incredibly lame teaching, and found her in the girl's bathroom on the second floor.

"Hey," Quinn glances at her, but only for a second before looking back down to her bag. It didn't shock her, for Rachel to be looking for her; which was obvious with the way that Rachel power walks toward her with a goal locked in her eyes.

She glances over her shoulder at the two retreated Cheerio's, hoping the have this conversation in private, when she asks the blonde for help with an 'adult problem'. The first thing she assumes, because it happened to her only two years ago, is that the singer is pregnant. The explosive 'no' and wide eyed horror in Rachel's eyes is enough to placate the blonde's worry and she says she can keep a secret.

It's nice, saying it's a secret between them both, because now it's something that can only be shared between them. Quinn feels like smiling, because honestly, if Rachel Berry came to her for advice, her words must hold some ground. Unlike the whole 'should I wait or do it?' fiasco where Rachel had blatantly disregarded what she'd said.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Yes. I can keep a secret."

As soon as the words come out of Rachel's mouth, all she can do is let out this little huff of air, because seriously? Who in their right mind gets married while in high school? She knows Rachel isn't stupid enough to accept such a proposal; after all, she has to get the hell out of Lima. She has to.

"What did you say?"

She honestly dreads the answer as soon as the question leaves her lips, and when Rachel says, "I said I needed to think about it," It feels as if she's being punched in the stomach, and with the way those brown eyes glance down to the floor and then back up to her, almost as if she's ashamed of her own answer. They seem to hesitate as they lock back on Quinn's eyes and Quinn knows she must look like some sort of moron with her mouth open and eyes wide, so she does the only thing she can, with a choked throat she says, "Well, you…can't."

She tries to spew out the positives of getting married; that a lot of people get married at their age and Quinn can only shake her head and glance over to the letter that's neatly folded in her handbag. She doesn't know why she took it to school with her, it wasn't as if anyone was going to really see it unless she pulled it out. But Rachel needs a reality check; she needs to know that her future won't be green lighted if she married Finn Hudson at the age of only 18.

The letter is thrust out, when she thinks Rachel has finished her mini ramble; because she does have manners and it's not nice to interrupt people when they're talking, even if it is utter crap. She sees the way that the singer glances down at it and asks what it is. She takes it, hesitantly, and then flips it open. Her eyes land on the words right at the top; Yale. Her heart thumps uncomfortably fast in her chest; had Quinn been excepted already?

"My ticket out of here. I got into Yale, early admissions. Turns out my essay about overcoming adversity while maintaining a straight A average during a teen pregnancy really turned on the admissions board."

The last thing on her mind is a hug, but when Rachel steps forward with such a beaming smile and envelops her in a tight hug, right around her neck, Quinn just melts. This is what a real friendship feels like; when a congratulatory hug feels so perfect that it could bring tears to her eyes. Rachel just seems to envelope her and she can't bring herself to tear away, so she doesn't; she waits until Rachel pulls away, which is agonizingly too soon.

"I'm sure you'll get your NYADA one, soon." She says it with such fierceness; Rachel will get that letter, she knows she will. Although the hate that spiralled between them in those first few years of High School clouded how talented Rachel really was, now she sees it with such clear eyes. The singer can bring tears to even the hardest of hearts, she can have people giving a standing ovation at Regional's because of a song she wrote and performed with such an intensity it even brought a tear to her eye.

"Oh. Yeah. I mean, New York mail is notoriously slow, so…" She sounds like she's trying to make excuses for the lack of letter from her school of choice, and Quinn doesn't miss the way Rachel looks away, almost as if she's afraid she'll burst into tears because why the hell hadn't she got her letter yet?

"My point being is that I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam, even thought I loved some of them," She huffs out a small laugh, because she finally realizes what horrible taste in guys she had and thanks all that's holy for making her finally realize-, "But by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter, I won't know why."

Rachel can't even look her in the eye when she asks if they should break up; it's almost as if she's purposely trying to avoid Quinn's eyes as they speak, afraid that she'll just burst out crying because yes, the thought of being married young terrifies her half to death, but she'd rather have Finn and a marriage and a home than have nothing at all.

"I'm all for making the most of the next few months, but I'd hate the idea of driving an anchor from the past into the bright lights of my future. Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead of you. As hard as it may be, if you want everything that you've ever dreamed of, you're going to have to break up with him."

The fact that Rachel looks as if she might cry lets her know that she could be possibly getting through; because although incredibly intelligent, when it came to matters of love, Rachel Berry acted like a ten year old girl talking to a Justin Bieber poster as if they were married and had twenty children.

"That's an awful thing to say," And Quinn realizes, yes, it probably is, but it's the truth. The truth never feels good; in most probabilities, telling people the truth drags that hurt that they'd locked away inside them and slaps it right in the centre of the room to be spoken about openly. No one likes hearing the truth; especially when it's right.

"Look, you wanted straight and thoughtful. I guess at one point it made sense to love somebody for your whole life, but it doesn't anymore. Women are finding themselves in their thirties now, every magazine says it. We hardly know what we're going to want in fifteen years."

Rachel keeps shaking her head, and honestly, it takes all Quinn has not to grab the girl by the shoulders and shake the sense into her. She's so deluded about Finn and it drives her completely up the wall; she can't see what's right in front of her and no matter how many heart felt speeches of a bright future and talks of friendship, Rachel just can't see.

She feels the basin on the sink dig into her left hand where she's grabbing it with all the strength she has; stopping herself from doing the one thing that she promised she'd never do. Rachel needs to see it on her own.

"But Finn and I…we can grow together."

"Look Rachel, I…" She stops herself and just composes herself for half a second because fuck, could Rachel make this anymore difficult? The delusion she has about Finn Hudson is almost on a megalomaniac scale. How can she oversee every bad thing about Finn and focus on the small list of positives about him? Love can cloud your judgment, but this is just painful. It's bordering on harmful. "You and Finn are a lovely couple." Why…did she say that? She pauses again and forces herself not to roll her eyes, "But if you really want to be happy, you're going to have to say goodbye."

And there's nothing else to say, because it's obvious from the look on Rachel's face that nothing has sunk in. Perhaps she's given the girl something to think about, but it's not as if she's going to admit that she doesn't want to get married, or be with Finn. So Quinn just grabs her bag and turns to leave.

"I don't know how to say goodbye."

Quinn glances over her shoulder and as soon as she does, Rachel tears her eyes away and looks to the floor, the tip of her shoe digging into the linoleum of the bathroom floor. "It's probably one of the hardest things you're ever going to do, but…it's the right thing to do." She turns completely, giving the girl her full attention, "Do you _want _to say goodbye?"

The chant of 'please say yes' runs rampant inside her head, and she takes one deep breath to control herself as Rachel shrugs her shoulders, "I love him. I know that people don't see why I do, but…he makes me happy."

"That may be the case, but sometimes, relationships have to come to an end. It's a matter of pull and push and in this respect, you need to push. If you want New York and NYADA and your future to come true, marrying Finn isn't the right choice to make." She shakes her head, "Rachel, he hasn't even picked a college to go to yet. I doubt he even will."

"He can work,"

"You're making excuses for him," She takes one measured step forward, just enough to be close, but enough to keep distance between them, "And that's what you've always done; made excuses."

"I'm not," Rachel's eyes cut to hers, solid and mournful, "People don't see the side to him that I do and of course I'm going to defend my boyfriend; it's only natural."

"Rachel." She shuts her eyes and shakes her head, "The reason you have to defend him so much is because you're not right for one another. You're on completely different sides of the spectrum. Do you honestly think that its always been Finn's dream to go to New York?"

"I-," And she cuts herself off because she just doesn't know. Did Finn have dreams of a better life in the city lights of New York, or had he admitted to himself that he wanted to stay in Lima and work in Burt's tire shop?

"They're your dreams, Rachel, not his. And in five years, when you're in New York, graduating from NYADA and auditioning for roles on Broadway, it'll click and you'll realize that yes, all those years ago you made the _right _choice."

Rachel glances away, eyes shimmering with unshed tears, "Why are you pushing this so hard?"

"You wanted advice and I'm giving it to you. It hurts this much because deep inside, you know it's right. You know that if you stay with Finn you're just going to doom yourself to a life in Lima and life long regrets that'll never fade."

Rachel blows out a breath, a tear finally making it's trip down her cheek. She almost jumps when she feels a hand touch her face and she looks up to see Quinn stood before her, thumb brushing away the teardrop.

"Do you know how happy I was when I got that letter?" The blonde asks, nodding to the bag that she'd placed back in the sink, "I resigned myself to a life here when I fell pregnant and I had to make the most difficult decision I'll probably ever face to get this. Do I regret giving my baby away? Yes, sometimes, but I knew I had to do it or I'd never get the chance to live my life. I'd have made Beth's life miserable because I was miserable with my own."

"But-,"

"Rachel…" Quinn closes in, eyes misted over with emotion, "You need to break up with him."

"Why," Rachel chokes out a sob, "Why do I have to break up with him to have my dreams?"

Quinn smiles, softly, sadly, "Because you can't have everything you've ever dreamed of without having a price to pay."

And Rachel just breaks down, heaving sobs that even makes Quinn's heart squeeze so tight it feels as though it's in a vice. The pain of Rachel's crying, the agony that she's going through, makes her want to break down to. But she stands there, a pillar of strength to the girl that shatters before her. She wipes away tears, she tells her it'll be okay and she holds her when the singer collapses against her chest.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," She hears sobbed against her blazer and Quinn has to blow out a breath at that, because she's never heard Rachel sound so…destroyed. Even after years of torture at the hands of almost the whole population of McKinley for believing in her dreams, Rachel had never broken down this much. She'd seen her cry when Finn upset her, or when they broke up, and when she thinks about it, that's the only time she ever see's Rachel cry; when Finn is involved.

"You do know, because you're going to get that letter and you're going to say thank you to Finn for making your high school years memorable." She pulls away, hands resting on Rachel's shoulders, "And you know what you're going to do then?" She smiles when Rachel looks up, eyes shimmering, "You're going to go to New York and you're going to sing your heart out at NYADA and you're going to make _all _your dreams come true."

"What's the point in having dreams if I have no one to share them with?"

She doesn't mean to blurt it; but the look in Rachel's eyes is so devastating, she just has to say it, "You can share it with me. I'm only eighty miles away and I'm sure I could hop a train and come see you from time to time."

Rachel's eyes seemingly widen further, "You-You would do that?"

Quinn just smiles and softly replies, "Yes."

And that time old question pops up once more and the vice that still holds her heart tightens further, threatening to burst her heart, "Why?"

"I- We're friends, right?"

Rachel chuckles through a sob, "Kind of."

The deja-vu makes her chuckle and she pulls her hands away from Rachel's shoulders, "I'm your friend and believe it or not, I do care for you. Marrying Finn is the worst mistake you'll ever make."

"But I need him,"

"You don't need anyone, Rachel. People come and go and sometimes it's inevitable to say goodbye. But new people come into your life and you can share your dream with them."

"You won't go…right?"

"I'll be in New Haven and you'll be in New York. I won't go anywhere else." She raises her hand to brush the remnant of tears away that slip from Rachel's eyes. Her skin feels hot, electric and suddenly Quinn feels all warm inside; she's never felt this close to Rachel before and the feeling is…intoxicating. "I'll be with you."

"Q-Quinn?" Everything inside her is telling her to pull away, to grab her bag and just leave like intended, but something deep inside her pulls her forward. She can barely contain the urge, and honestly, she isn't sure if she wants to because Rachel is confused as it is and this'll only make things worse.

But what if she doesn't have another chance?

Her lips brush against Rachel's cheek, tasting salt sweet tears as she kisses each individual streak away. She feels Rachel stiffen against her, hears Rachel hold her breath and let it out as a hiss as her lips pass over hers, barely brushing, to kiss away the tears on the other cheek. Everything feels right suddenly and Quinn shuts her eyes with relief, because she was right all along; all that hiding away and forcing people to see a hardened and cruel side of her was just a rouse to push everyone away to what she was really feeling.

She doesn't categorize it; because it doesn't deserve categorizing. Love is fluid and it transpires all sorts of different boundaries. Men and women love one another just the same as a man loves another man or a woman loves another woman. Love never should have been categorized, but she always thought that it was because of her strict religious upbringing.

But she's not clouded anymore; she loves both men and women and she can't deny that the pull she has toward Rachel Berry is one so strong and utterly poetic she could burst into tears.

"What're you doing?"

"I might not get another chance," She says almost instantly, pulling away slightly to peer into Rachel's eyes.

It takes a few moments, a beat, echoing silence and then Rachel finally says, "That's why you're so adamant."

"I'm selfish, but only when it comes to this." She cups Rachel's neck, thumbs brushing a proud jaw line, "All my life I've been told to turn away from things that I truly want; that it's sinful and I'll go to hell for it but…I'm not afraid anymore."

"Quinn…" And Rachel reaches up, grasping Quinn's hands that still lay dormant around her neck, "I'm with Finn. I'm in love with Finn."

"I know," She nods, glancing away for only a second before looking back, looking for an answer she needs, "But if there was a chance?"

"Where has this even come from?" It's a deflection and Quinn sighs, "You've never exhibited any feelings toward me like this."

"I thought I hid them well; some people caught on, like Santana and even Brittany, but it seems you didn't."

"What?"

"Rachel, did you ever wonder why I targeted you and only you?" Rachel nods, "I hated the feelings you were making me have and then you started pawing over Finn and I just got so jealous and…I wished it was you that wanted me. I hated the fact that you didn't and I just…attacked you to get the pain out."

"You…bullied me because you wanted to be with me?"

"Suddenly I feel like Karofsky," Quinn sighs, pulling her hands away from Rachel's neck, but Rachel doesn't pull her hands away, in fact, she holds Quinn's wrists and holds them between them.

"The bully that had something to hide and hated the way they felt so they lashed out?"

Quinn shrugs, "Me in a nutshell, I guess."

"Is that the only reason you wanted me to break up with him? So you could somehow have a chance?"

"No." It's said with such certainty that Rachel shivers, "I'm telling you to break up with him, not because I'm selfish, but because I care enough for you to want to see you succeed. Finn is a weight that's going to hold you down, and even if he does go to New York, do you really think that you'll both work out? He's too immature, Rachel. He can barely control his life in Lima, let alone New York."

"He can grow there. So can I."

"Do you really believe that?"

The silence is enough to answer her question, so she doesn't push it, "I can be selfish, but right now, I'm just looking out for you. I may have feelings for you, but first and foremost I'm your friend."

"You care for me that much? To put me first?"

She nods, "It's something Finn will never do, Rachel. Name one time he put you first in the whole time you've been together."

"Well," The fact she has to think about it, is enough for Quinn.

"You've given him so many chances, chances he doesn't deserve. The only place he'll grow up is here in Lima. You can't grow here. If you stay here it'll slowly begin to destroy you and I care for you too much to see you slowly wither away."

"Quinn," She's near tears again, so she drives it home.

"I've always seen you in New York. Here? This is your past and you don't have a future here. Your future is in New York, with Broadway, with new friends, with new loves and…" She needs to add it, she has to, "Maybe with me."

Rachel chews on her bottom lip, seemingly trying to control the floods of tears that wish to drop. She takes a few moments just to take long, even breaths and Quinn stands there, patient as ever. Quinn pulls her hands back to link fingers and honestly, it feels like such a weight between them. It's just all too much. She feels like she's going to die if she doesn't get out this bathroom.

"Are you trying to tell me you wa-," It just comes out as a puff of air and she crumbles, "Are you telling me you want to be with me in New York?"

"I want to be the one that shares your dreams with you, Rachel." She leans forward, pressing a kiss to a creased forehead, "But for that to happen…you need to say goodbye to Finn."

"Stop saying that…" She pleads, quietly, but somehow drawing herself closer to Quinn's body. The clasped hands between them are finally released and Quinn's arms wrap around her, holding her close, almost protecting her. "Please, just…stop telling me to say goodbye."

She buries her face in Quinn's blazer and cries just that much more; she doesn't know how she feels now and all of this is just making her that much more confused. She only came here for advice and now she has the weight of a girl's care for her on her shoulders and she doesn't know how to get rid of it.

"Rachel…say you'll go to New York without him." The wording throws her off and she pulls back slightly, looking up to lock eyes with Quinn, who looks as if she's going to burst out crying too, "I don't care if it's not with me, just…say you'll go to New York and leave him behind."

Brown eyes flicker from one hazel eye to the other, trying to piece together what Quinn truly means, "You really do care for me, don't you? That you'd let me go, even if it meant you couldn't have me."

Quinn sighs through tears, "Yes."

But the thought of going to New York without the boy that made her High School years bearable just seem too much. The thought of leaving him behind to fester in a boring mundane life in Lima, Ohio just gives her the overall feeling of being a bitch. He's tried so hard to be a better man for her, and he has; he's tried _so _hard for her. Why can't people see that?

"I can't leave hi-," And Quinn's lips are against hers and she stiffens almost instantly. Those soft tender lips feels so different to the rough textured kisses that Finn gives her daily. She always loved his kisses but this kiss? It feels-.

She sighs softly, feeling Quinn's tears melt against her skin and their lips, soft and pressured fall into a rhythm. All thoughts shut out from their minds; Rachel no longer cries for her confusion over her future and Quinn no longer cries for Rachel. Quinn holds her, Rachel allows herself to be held and allows herself to call into Quinn's kiss.

The flick of a tongue, almost hesitant, against her lower lip, makes her jolt. Finn always used to just…stick his tongue in whenever she gulped for air because he really did get too carried away, but Quinn actually asks silently for permission and she feels something inside of her just crack a little.

This is what she could have.

So she allows it.

She doesn't know who moans first, but the taste of Quinn against her tongue just makes her melt just that much more. She takes a step by step of Quinn's mouth, almost as if she's trying to memorize it; she flicks her tongue against pearly white teeth, along a quivering tongue, against trembling lips.

Quinn's hands clutch desperately at the back of her dress, trying to keep herself steady; never did she think she'd feel this. She wasn't even expecting it years down the line, so now, right now, her mind feels as if it will explode with the possibilities that lie between them.

Rachel's arms come up to her neck, wrap tightly and pull her down, trying to get her closer. She feels like weeping; it's just all too much. Rachel holding her close, Rachel's mouth making love to hers.

"Oh God," Rachel rips herself away, hands to her mouth, eyes wide as her back presses against the sink behind her. As Quinn gulps for air, she notices that Rachel's hands are trembling. "No."

"No, what?" Quinn asks, wiping at her lips where her lipstick smudged. She can see the red tinge to Rachel's lips between the cracks of her fingers and honestly she feels like cheering, but the utter devastation in Rachel's eyes just has her stuck.

"Why…why would you do that?" Rachel's hands drop to her side lamely, "Why would you do that? I thought you were my friend."

"I am, I just-,"

"Just what, Quinn? You said you weren't going to selfish and now you've ruined everything!" She moves to storm out, but Quinn won't let it happen, she won't let Rachel walk away when something so perfect happened between them. Just for a moment, they had no worries. She needs that in her life. She needs Rachel in her life.

"Rachel," She grabs her by the wrist and pulls her back, Rachel's back slamming against her torso. It makes her wheeze, she didn't mean to tug her so hard hard, but Rachel doesn't fight back and try to pull away, in fact, she just bows her head and her shoulders shake. "Don't expect me to not go for something that I've always wanted." She fights back tears as she turns her head to whisper into the singer's ear, "Don't push me away when I know you felt something too."

"Let go of me."

"No."

"Let. Go. Of. Me."

"No…"

"Please…let go."

"I can't."

Rachel chokes out a sob, "Please let go."

"Rachel…" She drops a kiss to Rachel's bared neck, and she kisses it with such softness, it's almost as if the kiss will shatter the already fragile singer, "I can't let go. Not now."

And they both know they're not talking about the hold Quinn has upon her, but the feelings that Quinn has. Quinn cries softly against her neck, because suddenly, she feels like she's losing all over again.

"Oh God, please…just…let me go, _please_." But her hands are already making their way up, wandering into short locks and holding Quinn's head in place, leaving those lips to brush against her heated skin.

Quinn pushes her forward, making them face the mirror. She looks up, propping her chin on Rachel's trembling shoulder, "Look in the mirror, Rachel."

"I can't." She shakes her head, unwilling to look up, "I just can't."

"Rachel…look."

And she looks and she's never seen such…beauty before. Quinn is sobbing almost silently against her and although they look a mess with all their make up smudged from crying, they both look beautiful together.

"We could have this. Together, in New York. We could have it."

"Have what? Quinn, we're crying and I think my heart is breaking." She drops her hands from Quinn's hair and clutches them to her chest, "My chest hurts…"

"You're fighting something that's right…that's why it hurts to badly." She brushes her hand down the length of Rachel's arm, resting it on her waist, "You know, deep inside, that this is what you want. In that one kiss you felt something you've never felt with Finn."

"What…?"

"You felt equal." She smiles softly, "With Finn, you never feel equal. He belittles you because he seems to think that you think you're better than him. He makes you feel bad because you _are _better than him."

"Quinn…" Her voice, one she prides herself on, is a husk of its former glory. She can barely whisper without it paining her throat.

"You're better than him, Rachel, and you deserve someone better than Finn Hudson to be the one to share your dreams in New York."

"And you are?" She asks, locking eyes with Quinn's in the mirror.

"No…" Rachel's eyes widen. What? "But I'm willing to try to be the one honoured to share your dreams with you."

"Quinn." She feels the blonde's hand slide lower, down across her abdomen, fingertips tracing the outline of her bellybutton through her dress. She'd giggle, because she's obnoxiously ticklish, but she's too busy tracing the movements with her eyes with the help of the mirror before her. "What are you doing?" She asks, shakily.

"Proving how much I care," She cups Rachel through her dress and all the singer can do is gasp, "How much you mean to me," All she feels is the material of Rachel's dress between her fingertips, but the way that their eyes are locked in that mirror, somehow makes her feel as if she's truly touching Rachel. She doesn't deserve to truly touch; not yet. "I'm proving how it's an honor to have you in my life, and not just a girl that holds my hand in the hallways and makes me feel better about myself."

It takes some time, it takes Quinn's shimmering eyes and her tears to break Rachel down completely. The pressure between her legs is too much and although she can't really feel Quinn's hand, it feels better than anything she's ever had with Finn.

"Quinn," She sobs, hips rocking into the hand. The pressure gives way to pleasure and it sends an electric shock up her spine; was this how it was suppose to feel like? "Q-Quinn…"

"I have you, Rach. I have you." And she does, her left hand providing the pressure Rachel needs between her legs and her right arm wrapping around her stomach to keep her upright. She holds her tight, holds her close, afraid to let go as if this bubble will just burst if they lose any sort of contact. She needs to make Rachel see that _she's _the better choice. It's her last hand; it's all she has left.

"Oh G-God," Rachel sighs as she sobs; her head is telling her she's doing the wrong thing but her heart is screaming to her how right it is. She can't seem to stop the rock of her hips, the way it grinds down against Quinn's hand, and it's when she feels Quinn push against her backside, she gasps and grinds down twice as hard. "Quinn?"

"I h-have you, Rach." She whispers, repeating as she grinds her centre against the swell of Rachel's ass. It's not much to sedate the unadulterated need she has coursing through her body, but she's finally feeling Rachel, in some respect, and that's all she ever hoped for.

Rachel's hips move faster and so does Quinn's, and through no fault of their own, they fall into tandem with one another, rocking and pressuring themselves to finally hit the pinnacle that their somehow twisted relationship with one another brought upon them. Rachel's hand snaps out and her flat palm slaps against the mirror, holding herself, planting her feet as she grinds harder. Those fingers feel like perfection against her and although a dress and drenched panties separate them, she's never felt so close to the girl that pants in her ear behind her.

"So good, Rachel…" Quinn moans, the natural alto tone to her voice sending shivers through Rachel's enflamed body. Quinn's hips drive against her and she can already feel her left arm start to give way; she can't hold herself up for much longer. Her right hand hovers over Quinn's working hand, and she glances down at herself, realizing where her hand went, before locking eyes with Quinn again in the mirror.

Quinn seems so helpless, locked between desperation and pleasure and she's never felt her heart ache so much. They're desperately trying to get one another off because they're trying to prove a point. Quinn is trying to make her see what she could have, but all she can think is how she has to walk away when this is over and done with.

This is a bump in the road; that's all it has to be.

So she presses her hand down over Quinn's, pushing those fingertips harder against her and she gasps when she feels those fingers rub against her aching clit. Finn never really paid attention that little point of pleasure; apparently he still thought that being inside a girl was enough to get them off, but it's the thought that counts right?

She gasps, feeling the connection between the two of them as Quinn continues to watch her, never dragging her eyes away, unwilling to sever the connection. "Does that feel okay?" Quinn asks, and she just drives her hips harder against Rachel's backside, feeling the spike of pleasure up her spine every time she grinds herself against it.

And she doesn't want to admit it because she's practically spitting over the proposal Finn gave her only a week before, but-, "Yes…Oh God, yes, Quinn. Please."

And those fingers rub faster, harder against that swollen nub, bullying it into submission as Quinn grinds against her. It's chaotic and she barely hears the shrill of the bell ringing over the roaring in her ears. She's so close, so connected; the emotion that lies between them is enough to get her off.

"R-Rach, I c-can't hold on much longer," The blonde pants into her ear, moaning when Rachel pushes her ass out. She holds herself against Rachel, hand on her hip as she grinds her centre against that perfect ass with a small rotation of her hips. "A-Are you…?" She lets it drift off because honestly, when did talking get so hard?

And Rachel just whines because Quinn's fingers are going that much faster and her hips are moving so fast and Quinn is just completely surrounding her and she hears the gathering swell of voices in the hallway outside and Quinn hits her just right, two fingers pressed against her clit, and she just bursts into tears as she comes.

Quinn quakes behind her, burying her face into Rachel's neck as she comes. Her body trembles as if she's stood in a snow storm, her fingers burn with the heat of Rachel's centre against them and the echo of a sob she hears as she rides it out, just makes her cry too.

It's minutes later, when Quinn had pulled back, hair back in place, tears wiped away with tissue, that Rachel turns away from the mirror and looks at her. Students mill around them, honestly not bothered by their presence as they rush from the stall, to the sink, and back out again.

Another bell, another class; Quinn has to go and so does Rachel, but they can't seem to move.

"I can't, Quinn."

The blonde looks away; she knew it was coming but it did nothing to stop the pain that engulfs her body. "Finn…is the one I want and…this was a mistake, okay?" Rachel steps forward, tucking a lock of Quinn's hair behind her ear, "You've showed me something I could have, and I'm grateful, but, you're not Finn…"

The slam of the bathroom door is the only sound that accompanies the stuttering sobs of Quinn Fabray as Rachel Berry walks away.

* * *

><p>"I wanted to thank you guys, because without each and every one of you, this would have never happened. You supported me and loved me throughout all the drama, and that's why I'm standing here. I wasted so much time hating myself for the stupid mistakes I made, but the truth is, is that without all of those, I never would have dreamed this to be my future."<p>

She looks to Rachel, who just stares right back, and she licks her lips to distract herself from the hot tears that well in her eyes. She's cried enough.

"I was the only one standing in the way of myself. You can't change your past, but you can let go… and start your future."

It's all she can say.

* * *

><p>Not longer after that she finds out that Rachel accepted Finn's proposal of marriage. To say she's devastated is an understatement, but more than that, she feels disappointed; Rachel chose to hold back her future for the sake of one guy that she fell in love with in High School. True, Finn may go to New York to be with Rachel, but the thought of them together does nothing to stop the creeping torment she feels in the pit of her stomach.<p>

They announce it to the club, Rachel proudly showing the ring on her finger and Quinn just lets out a sigh.

"I would have loved to have seen you in a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn." She barely looks at her as she says that and Quinn looks away, because really, who the fuck says that after what happened?

She doesn't know if Rachel is trying to shove it in her face; to prove to her that she made the right choice by choosing Finn, but it just feels like a gigantic fuck you.

* * *

><p>Rachel pushes the wedding forward.<p>

The fitting for dresses is rushed so much that it almost feels like a whirlwind. Quinn goes along with it, just to try and grasp some concept of how Rachel is feeling. But it's when Rachel's in that dress, looking beautiful as ever, but entirely too premature, she just snaps.

"I'm not gonna stand around and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson!"

She's so angry, so heart broken, so desperate as Rachel stands before her. It's her last ditch effort and there's nothing else she can do or say.

"Don't marry him."

Rachel stares at her, almost arrogantly, "You need to forget what happened, Quinn. For both our sakes."

"What if I don't want to forget?" She steps forward, body almost pressed against Rachel's, "What if I want what happened in that bathroom and more for the rest of my life? What if I want to see you in this dress years down the line when the time is right? I can give you everything he can't, Rachel. Stop deluding yourself into thinking that Finn Hudson is the only thing that makes your life worth something because he isn't. You got this far without him, why do you need him now to take New York?"

"Why do I need you?" Their lips are so close, "Why do I need you and not him, Quinn?"

"Because…"

Rachel rocks up on her tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to her lips, fleeting, distant, "You can't even say it." Is whispered against her lips and she just storms away because she won't let Rachel see her cry because of her own cowardice.

* * *

><p>She sits on the edge of her bed, staring at the clock as it mockingly ticks away toward 3pm. She's been staring at it since 10:13am and she hasn't looked away since. 3pm is the deadline; the deadline for taking what she wanted, the deadline for Rachel to just say no and run to her house in her wedding dress like some cliché romance movie.<p>

2:56pm. The clock continues to tick away, and although her thoughts create turmoil and heartbreak within her, her exterior is calm. Her mom walks in and assumes nothing is wrong because she's so calm. She chats animatedly about her job; how one of her clients at the estate agency gave her the biggest job she's ever had and the possibility of a pay rise is imminent. At least that means they can keep the house.

2:58pm.

Her mom's voice seems to fade away, and honestly, she thinks it's because she's not really paying attention, but her mom just watches her, watching her as she stares at that damn clock.

Rachel's coming.

2:59pm.

Judy sits beside her on the bed and rests a hand over the painfully clasped hands in her lap and together they watch as the clock ticks one last time toward the deadline.

3:00pm.

And she collapses into her mother's side, "Mom…"

And Judy holds her daughter, knowing exactly what's going on but not really wanting to acknowledge it; but she's trying to be better, for herself, for her baby girl. She hushes her, kisses the top of her head, rocks her from side to side just like the days when a six year old Lucy would run in the door after a day of bullying from her classmates.

"It'll be okay," She whispers, pressing another kiss to the top of Quinn's head, "It'll be okay, Quinn…"

And she just cries harder.

Rachel isn't coming.

* * *

><p>She's home for a little while; she has a four day break before her job in a minor role for an independent movie starts up. It's only a small movie and the budget is even smaller; but it's acting, and being at Yale for four years just proved how much she truly loved it.<p>

Puck has already been to her old house to say his hello's and how're you's. They spoke for a few hours about Yale, and how his pool cleaning business has really rocketed up and spreading into different towns. He's older, more mature, and honestly, she sees what she loved about him all those years ago. That charming grin, those eyes that make her want to smile, his almost childlike enthusiasm when it came to the things around him.

They're outside smoking on the front porch when the question comes up, "You seen Rachel?"

Quinn glances at him, looks away and takes one long drag of her cigarette. She knows smoking is bad for her; she was told that enough back in High School when she was with the Skanks, but it was really the only thing that calmed her back in college.

That and one night stands.

Lots of them, she's ashamed to admit. None of those girls seemed to compare to that charming brunette from Ohio and none of the guys gave her the distraction she needed from thinking about her. She came most of the time, but it was hollow and it didn't really make her whole body shatter like it had that one time in the bathroom all those years ago.

"I haven't seen her. Why?"

"Just wondered," Puck shrugs, glancing around for somewhere to put the butt of his cigarette and then just ends up flicking it onto the front lawn anyway, "Didn't you come home for the holidays or anything? I never saw you."

"Didn't really want to come back. I guess I just wanted to forget about this place."

Her ex laughs, "I don't blame you." He watches her flick the remnants of her smoke onto the lawn and pulls out a fresh one, "Chain smoke, much?"

She just glances at him, then the cigarette, and lights it anyway.

"Why would I see Rachel?" The question has been bothering her since Puck asked.

"You've been here a few days, I thought you would have seen her around, she's not exactly hard to miss."

"Huh?" She asks, holding in the smoke she's just inhaled and then exhaling it into his face to make him cough. She smirks at him and leans forward onto the wooden railing of the porch.

"She's always rushing around. Never stays still, really. I don't blame her, after all, when I took care of Beth, I never sat down either."

"What do you mean?"

"Her and Finn have a kid, two years old I think."

Her half smoked cigarette drops to the ground and she barely hears Puck ask if she's okay as she stumbles away.

* * *

><p>She finds out from her mother of all people that Rachel never left Lima. After they were married, they both graduated and decided to stay in their hometown to start a new life together. Finn owns Burt's old tire shop and Rachel works part time at the local Walmart to keep the money going. And when she's not working, she's taking their two year old son, Leo, to the park and to play dates with other kids in their neighbourhood.<p>

They live out of Rachel's childhood home, with Hiram and Leroy Berry.

The picture is enough to make Quinn sick because Rachel had such a bright future in front of her. And just as predicted, that future disappeared when she said "I do".

She actively seeks her out, feeling particularly masochistic, and finds her at the checkout at Walmart. She wants to cry when she zones in on the shell of a girl she fell in love with all those years ago. The smile is forced, unbelievably so and the bags under eyes tell a telling story of late nights and not enough sleep.

The first thing she wants to do is go straight over to the checkout and drag Rachel back to New York with her, but she needs an opening. She knows Rachel like the back of her hand and she'll get defensive if she just strolls up like she owns the place.

Time to put the acting techniques she so lovingly perfected at Yale to good use.

She walks up and down aisles, trying to find something to buy. She could buy a box of cereal and head to the checkout but it has to look believable; Rachel will see through any façade Quinn builds without even trying. She knows that too well.

Birthday cards, anniversary cards and celebration cards assault her eyes as she walks down another aisle. It's been so long since she's been in this particular store, so finding things is a little bit tricky. She glances at the cards and zones in on one; she wishes it said 'so you ruined your life' but she's not that cruel. She picks it up, takes a look inside, then looks at the cover and nods. She has a pen in her handbag somewhere.

* * *

><p>It's almost as if she's running on autopilot; she doesn't really see the people that come to her checkout. She scans their goods, sometimes helps with the bagging, takes their money, takes their cards. It's dull and monotonous and she's sick of it.<p>

She'd have packed in the job long ago if it wasn't for the fact that even owning a small business, that they needed more money. Thanks to a little surprise in the form of a beautiful baby boy, they were doing alright for themselves, her and Finn. She was going to night college and he was working double shifts at the garage. But then when Leo arrived, the money that they casually used needed to be doubled to be used as things for their newborn.

Hence the monotonous part time job while Finn works double, sometimes even triple shifts to keep things going. They hardly see one another, and sometimes Finn doesn't even make it to the bed when he stumbles in from a long day at work. He tends to collapse on the couch and not move until the alarm on his phone blares and he stumbles back out to work without changing or showering.

Leo keeps her up at all times of the night; he seems unwilling to settle down for more than two hours at a time and the lack of sleep is beginning to grate on her. She expected motherhood not to be easy, but she never expected it to border on masochistic.

She loves her son, she does, and she'd die for that beautiful brown haired toddler, but sometimes she just sits back and wonders what her life would have been like if she had taken up the offer that she was given back in High School.

Finn has Puck around some days, and they sometimes talk about Quinn and how Puck goes up to New York now and again to see his 'baby mama'. They talk about how well she's doing, how well Yale is treating her and how happy she seems to be.

"_I don't know though, there's just something a little off. We have a laugh and everything and we joke around, but her smiles always seem forced."_

Rachel had been feeding Leo in the kitchen, her son unwilling to take the spoon into his mouth no matter how loud she made plane sounds, when she'd heard that and it hadn't left her since. She fantasizes that Quinn is still hooked up on her; that their romance still holds some sort of ground between them. But it's just a fantasy. Only a fantasy.

Quinn's in New York. She's in Lima with Leo and Finn.

She's…happy.

She huffs out a sigh when her eyes land on the next item on her checkout, "Twenty or less items go to the end checkouts." This checkout is for twenty items and over; how many times must she tell people that? But the owner doesn't move and she huffs out a sigh, "Excuse me-,"

Her heart breaks in half when she sees a much older and mature Quinn Fabray before her.

"Yours was the closest checkout." Quinn's voice, beautiful as ever, rings in her ears like a stunning melody, "I can move if you like?" It's a dead question; Quinn knows that Rachel won't tell her to move and Rachel knows that Quinn doesn't really mean it. It's rhetorical.

"No…it's fine."

Quinn smiles softly, and she notices that it doesn't really meet her eyes like it used to. She tears her eyes away, taking in a shuddering breath to calm herself as she takes hold of Quinn's lone item.

And she just stops.

'Congratulations, it's a boy!' in bold blue letters assaults her and she feels the stinging heat hit her nose and eyes.

"I'm a little late." Quinn's voice sounds dull all of a sudden, "I apologize."

She knows. Quinn knows about Leo and probably has so many thoughts on how unhappy she is and how she and Finn almost never make love and that their marriage isn't working and how broke they are and how she hates what she's become and what breaks her heart isn't the fact that Quinn must have those thoughts, but the fact that it's all _true_.

"You must find this funny," She whispers, scanning the card, even though it's never really going to be used. She even bags it, which is silly, because it'll fit in a handbag. "That'll be a dollar 47."

"Not funny," Quinn reaches into her bag, "Just disappointing." She pulls two dollar bills from her purse and hands it over, "I had high hopes for you."

"Well so did I," Rachel bites back, snatching the bills from Quinn's hand and shoving it into the till. Her fingers tremble around the change she counts out and sobs when trying to hand them over, they scatter amongst the counter. "So did I…"

Quinn doesn't make a move to grab the change, she just pulls the card out of the bag and hands it back, "Read it."

And she walks away. She watches as Quinn walks away from her; and she realizes the pain in her chest probably doesn't compare to what she put Quinn through all those years ago. But it hurts just to same; it hurts because her life is nothing like the way she planned, it hurts because she broke that girl's heart, it hurts because even though she loves Finn, she's not _in _love with him.

Her eyes shut and the tears fall as her fingers trace the cover of the card; she's slowly killing herself as she inches the card open and just crumbles when she slowly reads the message inside.

_I always hoped you'd become more, but I can't deny that the fact you brought a baby into this world is something akin to magical. You must love him with such a fierce intensity; just as much as I still love you. I always hoped you'd go to New York and have your dream, and I can only say that it broke my heart when I found out you stayed here. I know you probably think it's too late to start something new, but it's not. You have nothing to keep you here; Puck told me enough about your marriage and how you're trying to cling to something that's failing so fast. You can still have your dream, in New York, with both your son and I. Bring him to New York and let him see the wonders I've grown up with for the past four years; and show him that dreams can always come true…sooner or later._

_I need you in my life Rachel. I need you and your son in my life; so I can show you the love I have for you in my, and hopefully your, new hometown._

_Forever yours, Quinn Fabray x._

* * *

><p>Both her fathers take Leo out for the night as she and Finn sit down for the night. She called him after her shift, telling him to come home and that they needed to talk. As soon as he walked in the door, she knew that he realized what was going to happen, and honestly, the relief on his face made her sigh with relief too.<p>

She had been a bundle of nerves and emotion since those brutal minutes at work, and as Finn settles down beside her on the couch and takes her hands, she knows it's going to be okay.

He listens to every word she says, he watches her sob as she tells her that it's not working out anymore and that she needs to truly live her life, he's close to tears himself as she thanks him for giving her a beautiful baby boy and he completely breaks down when she says she has to go to New York to take what she always wanted and needed.

"I want to see him every other week."

"You can."

"I want him to stay here a week a month."

"He can."

"I want to see you too…"

"You can…"

He sighs and nods, defeated. In silence, they contemplate what they've just done. She calculates the costs in her head for the divorce and tries not to cringe when she realizes she'll be going to New York, effectively broke.

It's only when Finn asks her,

"It's her…isn't it?"

And she admits,

"…It was always her."

That she truly feels alive for the first time in four years.

* * *

><p>She re-reads the address hand-written on the crumpled piece of paper in her hand, crumpled from countless re-reads and re-folds, and stuffs it into her jacket pocket. She adjusts Leo on her hip and looks down at him; his eyes are wide and his pacifier looks as if it'll fall from his mouth as he glances around the street.<p>

"You like this place, baby boy?"

He shrieks happily around his pacifier and she barely hears the, "Like!" as she grins.

"Are you gonna be nice to Quinn?"

His eyes widen even more as he stares at his mother and he nods, deadly serious. She giggles and kisses her boy on the nose; she son really does channel her sometimes. She looks back up the apartment building and nods, "Okay, let's do this, Leo."

"Do it!"

* * *

><p>Leo insists on knocking on the door, then refuses to stop playing with the 2B planted on the door until it opens. She watches her son nervously, worried he'll cry when the door opens and his new toy is taken from him. But when it does open, both Leo and herself fall quiet.<p>

Quinn, in shorts and a faded tee stands before her and the smile that envelops her face just makes her want to cry.

"Hi…"

"Hey," Quinn whispers back, glancing down to the boy that Rachel is bouncing on her hip. "Hey, little man."

"Leo…" Rachel looks down to her son, smiling at him, "Are you gonna say hello to Quinn?"

He looks at her, wide eyed, and fiddles with the pacifier ring at his mouth. He says nothing, just continues to stare, and Rachel bites her lip nervously. Her son wasn't the shy type and he always said hello to people they came across; he even said hello to dogs as their owners walked them down the street, for Christ sake.

Then he's pulling at his pacifier, letting it lose with a loud pop and grins and tooth grin, "Hello!"

And Quinn just chuckles, tweaks his nose and grins so wide when Leo giggles right back.

* * *

><p>"He's out like a light…" Rachel whispers as she shuts the bedroom door to Quinn's room, "I guess the ride really took it out of him."<p>

Quinn smiles from the couch, "He certainly is a bundle of excitement."

"Well, he is my son."

The blonde laughs and turns to face Rachel as she sits down on the couch; the show that they had been watching, an old re-run of The Sooty Show for Leo, goes unwatched as they look at one another.

"Hey,"

"Hey,"

"I can't believe you're actually here."

Rachel smiles with a blush, looking down to her lap, "Surprise, I guess?"

"Are you happier?"

"I'm still sad…" She sighs softly, "I left my husband and my fathers and my job…" She looks up and smiles softly, "But I'll be happy soon enough."

"What did he say?" Quinn asks, shuffling closer, "I never really got to ask with all the rushing around and stuff." She glances over to the bedroom door for a moment, "I'm already looking for a new place; two bedrooms, for…us and Leo."

"He was upset…but I think he knew it was coming. We hadn't been working for a while and we just kind of existed in one another's space. It wasn't a marriage…" She sighs and fiddles with her fingers, "Quinn…do you realize what you're getting yourself into?"

"That I'm becoming a second mother at twenty-two? Yes."

Rachel's mouth gapes, "D-Do you…" She looks away, eyes still wide, "Quinn…what did you just say?"

"Rachel, I didn't just ask _you_ to come here because I wanted you in my life. Leo comes with you; you're a package. If I'm accepting you into my life, I'm also accepting him. If he lives in this house, with you and I, and we're together, I'll treat him as if he's my own."

Shimmering brown eyes look at her and before she even knows what's happening, she's knocked to the floor by a lunging brunette who collapses on top of her. "I love you," Rachel whispers, nuzzling her face into her neck.

And Quinn smiles, because she finally has the guts to say it back, "I love you too. I've always loved you."

* * *

><p>Rachel is straddling her lips, pulling her sweater over her head when she says it, "We have to be quiet…" She says, whispering softly, leaning down to capture Quinn's lips against hers, "My son has incredible hearing; I'm almost positive he can hear an ice cream truck across town."<p>

Quinn barks out a laugh against Rachel's lips and the singer silences her with a brutal kiss; tongue collide, lips collide and bruise as they pour out the love they've held for one another for so long. They slot together, almost perfectly, two puzzle pieces, missing from the right box, finally found their way to slot into the bigger picture.

Quinn sits up, effectively pushing Rachel up with only with the muscles of her abs. She wants to groan at the pressure, but Rachel is wrapping herself around her, arms around her neck, like all those years ago, tasting her, memorizing her. The singer moans softly as their tongues connect and swirl against one another.

"Quiet…remember?" Quinn whispers, pulling back to rip her shirt over her head. "We have to be quiet."

Rachel nods, sitting up to unbutton her jeans, "I…" She glances to her stomach, "I have…" She sighs, "You can't see because it's not that light but…"

"Rachel," Brown eyes lock on hazel, "I have them too and I still think you're beautiful for having them. It's proof that you did something beautiful; you brought another life into this world."

"Really…?" The singer asks, quietly, voice thick with emotion; sounding just like the sixteen year old girl that only ever wanted to be accepted for who she was.

"Really." The blonde smiles, "Be proud of them. I am."

Rachel smiles, wide and continues to unbutton her jeans. She tries to be sexy and pulls them off slowly, but because she's straddling Quinn's hips, she ends up falling forward and crushing Quinn's face with her breasts.

"I'm so so-,"

"Oh, don't apologize." There's a pause as Rachel kicks off her jeans, and she looks down when Quinn's hands come to rest on her hips, "I may build a home here. The neighbourhood sure is nice."

Rachel barks out a laugh and immediately bites down hard on her bottom lip; if she wakes Leo up, he'll have questions about why she's in her 'rudies' on the floor with her 'friend'.

"Don't move. I like it here."

"Quinn…did you suddenly regress into a five year old girl?"

"A five year old girl likes breasts?" Is muffled against her chest.

"You're like a child that won't leave the park."

There's a chuckle and finally, Quinn pulls away from the spot between her breasts, "I miss it. I may vacation there from time to time."

Rachel smirks down at her and sits back up, hands drifting toward her back as she unhooks her bra, "You can 'vacation' there right now, if you like?"

Quinn watches with avid attention as those bra straps slacken and slowly fall down Rachel's arms. The singer holds the bra to her chest, looking down at the blonde with such a cocky smirk and Quinn knows what she's trying to do and it's fucking working.

She's getting antsy, and her thighs clench together and rub as ever so slowly, that barrier is slowly peeled away. "Fuck," The blonde moans, sitting up to wrap her arms around Rachel's waist, "You're fucking unbelievable."

"Hm?" Rachel asks, dropping the bra to the floor.

"You're like a goddess…" Quinn kisses her, then down her throat, tongue dipping into the hollow of her throat as she works her way down toward her chest, "You're fucking perfect."

"Quinn," She threads her fingers into Quinn's hair, longer since their days back in High School, and groans when she feels hot breath melt against her heaving breasts. "Do it," She hisses, on edge from waiting.

"It's all about the teasing, Rachel. I thought you knew that about me…?" The cocky smirk should infuriate her, but it just drives her insane with want; she's been missing this for four years, she wants it and she wants it now.

"Please…" She begs, quietly, voice barely carrying any volume. It's been four years since she last felt anything with Quinn; she needs something to fill that void that lingered and festered there for all that time. "Quinn…baby?"

Quinn looks at her at the term of endearment and smiles, "Just saying that…makes me feel like I can take over the world."

Rachel smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips, "Do _me _first, before you do _that."_

The heat that engulfs her nipple is maddening; all she can feel is the heat. She can't feel the swirl of Quinn's tongue, or the nip of her teeth, it's just the heat and it fills her whole body with a heightening intoxication.

"Oh fu-," She gasps and arches her back, head tipping back; such a simple move can shatter her from the inside out. "W-Why does this f-feel so good?"

She barely hears the muffled chuckle against her breast and bites down on her bottom lip, forcing herself to be quiet, forcing herself not to moan out Quinn's name when she finally feels a hand slip down her abdomen and toward her panty covered pussy. She's soaked already, she can feel it; it's just as hot as the mouth around her breast.

"Quinn," Her hips arch up, making those fingers move seemingly closer their target. "Touch me," She dips her chin to her chest and tugs at the blonde's hair, making hazel eyes open and snap up to hers. With blown pupils and heaving breaths she demands, _"Touch me."_

Quinn actually whines against her chest and she sobs out with relief when fingertips brush over the face of her panties. Quinn feels the moisture beneath her fingertips and it takes all she has not to break apart and fuck the girl into the floor; this is their real first time, not just a quick fuck in the girls toilets. It has to be special; it has to show Rachel how much she truly means to her.

Her middle finger drifts up Rachel's slit and she groans when she feels Rachel tug painfully at her hair; it's a fantastic pain, and it just proves how good she can make her girl feel. Her girl. She smiles as she pulls back; Rachel is finally _her _girl.

The days of sobbing after that clock hit 3pm seem insignificant as she runs her hand up to only dip back down into the hot heat of skin and cloth. Rachel gasps, eyes locked with Quinn's as skilled fingers work their way through short curls and into heated slick flesh.

"You feel fucking amazing," Quinn groans, looking down at her hand, "Oh fuck, Rachel…"

"Q-Quinn…move your hand…" She whispers, resting her hand over Quinn's, "Touch me and make me come."

"Anything you want." She looks up and presses a kiss to Rachel's collarbone, "Anything you want and more."

She swirls the tip of her finger against Rachel's clit, bullying it from it's hood and she watches as Rachel bites down harder on her bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut, hips grinding down on her finger. "You're so beautiful. I always wondered what it would be like to touch you like this." A second finger soon joins, circling the little nub in small circles; from past experience she noticed that most of the girls she slept with tended to like that, and she only hopes that Rachel likes it too.

The nails that dig into her forearm is proof enough.

"Fuck," Rachel gasps, holding onto that arm for dear life as she effectively grinds herself down on Quinn's hand, "So good."

"I've always wondered what it would be like to see you like this." Her fingers move faster, tighter rapid circles grace Rachel's clit with attention and the singer can't fight back the whimper that escapes her throat, "Humping my hand, begging for it, trying so desperately to be quiet so you don't wake up little Leo."

"Oh G-God,"

"I've always known you were beautiful, but right now? My God, you take my breath away, Rachel."

And the singer collapses forward, nails digging harder into Quinn's forearm as she comes. It tears her apart, almost limb from limb and the way that Quinn coaxes her throat with soft kisses to her ear and soft brushes of her fingertips just makes her come twice as hard. Everything feels so perfect; so right.

Her whole body twitches from the force of it all, and the blonde mercifully lets her settle for a few minutes while she gets her breath back. But then Quinn's hand is moving down, finger sliding down a sopping slit as it reaches her entrance.

Her back tenses; it's been a while, she and Finn hadn't had sex in months.

"I'll go slow, okay?" Quinn asks quietly, almost as if she can read the tension in Rachel's body at the action. And only when she feels Rachel nod against her shoulder does she push the tip of her finger in and she chews down on her inner cheek at how fucking hot and wet Rachel is because, fuck, she's soaked and…

"So fucking tight,"

Rachel whimpers against her neck, panting hot breath against her skin. Her hips rock against the finger as it continues to slowly slide inside her; she tries to get it deeper, tries to get it as far as it can possibly go inside her. She want's Quinn all the way inside; she wants the blonde to destroy her from inside out and put her back together again.

That what love is all about. This close connection that two lovers have as they hold one another. She's only ever felt this happy once before and that was when she held her baby boy in that hospital room. This is what she needed all along; but now wasn't the time for regrets. Four years was a long time ago; now was the time to move on, and this was going to do just that.

It takes her a while to adjust to one finger; of course, she's adept at masturbation (all those lonely nights with Finn working at the garage were testament to that) but the fact she had been so _exhausted _since getting a new job and taking care of Leo, when she hit the bed, she just passed out.

So she settles herself on that one finger, purposely tensing her pussy walls around Quinn's finger to make the blonde groan, "Do you like that?"

Quinn just nods because words seem to allude her all of a sudden; she's finally inside Rachel Berry and holy fuck it feels amazing. Then Rachel is rocking her hips, tight walls sucking in that lone finger as if her body desperately needs it. And Quinn can't move, because she's just in awe of how beautiful Rachel looks above her, rocking her hips, one hand on her breasts, pinching a firm nipple, the other hand tight around her arm, keeping her there, anchoring her there.

"Another," Rachel gasps all of a sudden, head tipping back, "Put another in me."

And Quinn is quick to respond, meeting Rachel with a downward thrust with a poised second finger. And the brunette just gasps and wraps her arms tight around Quinn's neck, "Fuck!" Is muffled into blonde hair and Quinn groans, "Fuck, Quinn."

"I need to fuck you, Rach…"

"Do it…" Rachel gasps, tightening her arms around Quinn's neck, "Fuck me like you mean it."

And they thrust in tandem together; Rachel's hips meeting each and every one of Quinn's powerful thrusts, her fingers pushing deeper and deeper with each dip. Her fingers slide so easily inside, so when she poises a third, Rachel doesn't even hesitate to drop her hips down onto it and whimper.

Her hands drop from their hold around Quinn's neck to her back, nails digging into soft flesh as hips thunder down on working fingers.

"So close," It becomes a chant, incessant and heated and Quinn feels so swept up in the building of Rachel's climax that she feels her own grow too. Her wrist hits her between her legs, and although the positioning isn't perfect, it hits her enough to give her the pleasure she desperately seeks. "I'm gonna come."

And Quinn groans against Rachel's chest, enveloping an aching nipple into her mouth. She sucks hard and moans against the skin, desperately trying to breathe as Rachel rides her fingers for all their worth. They're both burning hot; so hot it's uncomfortable but they can't bring themselves to stop. Quinn pushes her hand up with each thrust down of Rachel's hips, rubs her aching clit with an adept thumb and pushes her fingers deeper inside the woman she loves, begging to feel more of her.

Their moans are incessant, but sedated because even though they're finally finding themselves, they don't want to disturb the sleeping boy in the other room. They clutch at one another as Rachel rides herself to her climax, and with one last aching thrust, holding those fingers deep and squeezing them with hot tight walls, she whines Quinn's name and comes.

Quinn buries her face against Rachel's chest, moaning as the shudders of her very own climax races through her body. The nails that dig into her back don't seem to register, nor does the pain in her wrist from Rachel's fast paced riding; all she feels is euphoria, and she rides it for all its worth.

"Wow…" She gasps against hot tanned skin, "Just…wow."

"Quinn…?"

The blonde clears her throat and nods against the singer's chest, unwilling to move just yet, afraid she won't be able to feel her body, "Yeah?"

"I need to eat you out."

Quinn's head snaps back, eyes wide, "W-What?"

And Rachel is looking at her so innocently, well, as innocent as you can with come fuck me eyes and JBF hair. "I want to taste you." Rachel nips at her lower lip, "I want to make you come with my mouth."

"Fuck…" The blonde pants out. She blinks a few times, almost as if she was trying to wake herself up, but when she sees the familiar vision before her, she just smirks, "Yes. Oh, hell yes."

"But," When Quinn leans back to lay down, "I uhm…"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to do the same to me."

"You mean you wanna…" She does a swirly motion with her hand and she isn't quite sure how it references to a 69 position but Rachel seems to get it, because her already flushed cheeks, flush more.

"Please?"

"You don't even need to say please, Rach." She's about to move again, when she stops, "But uh…do you…wanna stay on top or?"

"Do you prefer a certain placement?"

The blonde fights back a snort; Rachel sounds like one of her old professors from Yale.

"I don't mind…whatever you're comfortable with, I guess."

"I've never really…" She glances down to her lap, noting that Quinn's fingers are still deep inside her. She takes a moment to grasp the concept; the blonde is still inside her, and it's so unbelievably intimate, but it feels so right. Usually when she and Finn made love, he rolled over and scooted over to the opposite side of the bed, but here Quinn is, effectively chilling out.

She thought makes her giggle.

"What's funny?"

"Oh, nothing." She smirks and looks back up, "You can be on top for once."

And Quinn just smirks.

* * *

><p>Quinn Fabray should have her own food group, or her own magazine for amazing backside's because she honestly stared for over five minutes as Quinn crawled over her and poised herself over Rachel's gaped mouth.<p>

"Rach?"

"Your ass is amazing."

And Quinn just laughed and nudged Rachel's legs open.

But seriously, Quinn should have her own food group because Rachel could seriously live off of a Quinn Fabray diet. She's so unbelievably sweet and intoxicating; it owns her, almost like a drug and she can't seem to stop herself from suckling at Quinn's clit, because whenever she does, the muffled groan that Quinn emits sends vibrations through her pussy and up her body.

"Fuck," Quinn gasps, pulling away for breath as Rachel's tongue slowly slides inside her. She glances over her shoulder, watching Rachel as she effectively tongue fucks her into oblivion. Her own hand snakes between her thighs, teasing and rolling her clit between her fingers. Rachel watches right back, taking in the mussed hair and come soaked chin of her lover, moaning as she drinks all Quinn has to offer her.

Quinn's hips instinctively find their own rhythm against Rachel's tongue, and she smothers her soaked pussy against Rachel's mouth as she rides herself toward her orgasm. But Rachel whines against her, pulling her tongue out to lick softly at Quinn's pussy.

"Put your tongue on me, Quinn."

Quinn sobs out a moan and drops back down, diving back in as she suckles at Rachel's clit, her hand that had been teasing herself, moving back up to plunge not one, but two fingers inside Rachel.

The singer gasps, burying her tongue back inside and revelling in the way the blonde's pussy walls tense around her tongue as she works her way inside. She massages Quinn's ass, digging her nails in whenever Quinn sucks particularly hard, driving her tongue deeper whenever those fingers reach further inside.

"Oh fuck, Rachel, baby…you're gonna make me come."

Rachel groans against heated flesh, pulling her tongue away only to say, "Fuck my face, Q, make yourself come." And her tongue is back to work, driving its way inside, continuing it's mind-blowing journey to shatter Quinn Fabray.

"C-Come, come together," Quinn pants, suckling at her clit, "Come with me…"

And her hips rise up from the floor, meeting Quinn's driving fingers and her tongue as it swirls random patterns against her clit. The nip of teeth to her clit has her whining and it sends a thrill straight through her body; fuck, she never knew she'd like _that. _

"Rach," Quinn pants, voice low and husky, "I'm gonna come…I'm gonna come for you."

And together they writhe against a New York apartment floor, allowing the pleasure to engulf their bodies as that steady pressure in the pit of their stomachs continues to grow and grow, threatening to explode.

Rachel's nails drag down to Quinn's thighs and hold on for dear life as those fingers drive faster inside her. She works her tongue faster in return, fucking those tightening walls as they collapse around her tongue.

The moans and helpless screams against one another's heated pussy's doesn't seem to registers as their orgasms rip through them. Quinn quakes above her, sobbing against her heated flesh as the finally experiences that almost religious experience as two lovers make love, and Rachel sobs openly, allowing her orgasm to run rampant through her body as she finally…_finally…_decides that she's made the _right _choice.

* * *

><p>"No regrets?" Quinn whispers softly, pulling the covers up over their bodies as they settle into bed.<p>

"None," Rachel replies with a beaming smile, "None at all."

"I guess you got it right, huh?"

Rachel blushes, glancing down to the sleeping toddler that sleeps sweetly between them, "Although I know I made the wrong choice…I'm glad I made it."

"Hm?"

"Leo would have never been born and…I couldn't imagine my life without him now."

There's silence for a while, and Rachel desperately wants to look up to see if she's somehow offended Quinn by admitting she's glad she didn't choose her first, but she feels a soft brush of fingertips against her jaw and she knows it's okay.

"He is an amazing little man."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Rachel asks, softly, quietly.

"I want nothing more."

"But you're so young and-,"

"Nothing you can say can change my mind, Rachel." Blonde hair assaults her vision and she honestly feels like crying when Quinn brushes a soft kiss to Leo's forehead. The little boy whines softly as he shuffles into a new position, and she does cry when he falls back into a restful sleep with a small smile on his face.

"I love you…and I love him."

Quinn settles down against her pillow, arranging it until she's comfortable enough. But Rachel doesn't settle down, she leaves herself propped up on elbow as she watches the blonde.

"What?"

"How did I not see you in High School?"

"You saw me almost every day."

"The _real _you." Rachel amends.

"You see me now…" And Quinn smiles, "And that's all that matters."

* * *

><p><strong>Prompt 1 from anonymous: I want Quinn trying to stop Rachel from making the mistake of marrying Finn.<strong>

**Prompt 2 from chimfaberry: Bathroom and mirrors.**

**Prompt 3 from connectedanon: DRY HUMPING, THO.**

**Prompt 4 from anonymous: Rachel falls pregnant.**

**Prompt 5 from anonymous: Rachel marries Finn and the aftermath.**

**Prompt 6 from anonymous: 69 Faberry.**

**Prompt 7 from anonymous: Lost in Paradise by Evanescence. **


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